DON'T ASK, DON'T TELL

Last week a dear friend e-mailed me a u-tube video titled “A Different Christmas Poem”. It’s a beautiful poem with moving photos written by a soldier in the military to the cadence of “T’was the Night Before Christmas”.

Needless to say, as I watched the video I wept for all our men and women who are serving in our military, especially during the holidays, away from their loved ones.

I must admit, as moved as I was and I sobbed, there was a piece of my heart that held some bitterness because of DADT. It made me sad that in this great country of ours, there could be such disregard for our gay and lesbian men and women who want to serve and are rejected simply based on gender preference.

Well, oh happy day!! On Saturday, December 18, 2010, the senate voted to repeal the law banning gays and lesbians from serving openly in the military. This is a monumental decision and hopefully it will be the beginning for mainstream America to have a shift in it’s thinking. We are all perfectly imperfect and no matter your color, your gender or your sexual preference, we deserve equal rights.

If you have a moment during this busy holiday season please watch the u-tube video I mentioned above. Our men and women serving in the military deserve our prayers and with the repeal of DADT, we can now send those prayers with a full heart and a hope for a better tomorrow.

God Speed and stay safe to all who serve.

Hugs, Barbara

WHAT WOULD YOU DO?

Last night my sister Frayda, who is my silent partner in this blog experience and who edits all my work, suggested I watch Primetime with John Quinones. His show, “What would you do?” is a social experiment, creating fictitious vignettes with actors performing uncomfortable situations in public. The film crew observes whether strangers intercede on behalf of the victim or choose not to get involved. The first incident involved a drunk teenager trying to get into his car and drive to school. It was interesting to see the different responses from random people passing by.

The reason Frayda wanted me to watch this particular episode of the show, was the next vignette, which had two scenarios. A young man, probably in his late teens, tells his dad he is gay in a coffee shop filled with customers. The acting was so good I could feel my mother bear angst rising to the surface as I watched the scene unfold. While the young man was trying to reason with his father, the dad begins shouting homophobic rhetoric for all to hear. A young man at the next table became visibly upset but chose not to interfere.

In the second scene, when the young man tells his mother he’s gay, she also began shouting homophobic slurs. Two women, obviously moms, immediately spoke up, challenging the mother and comforted the young man when he was left alone and distraught, crying at the table.

After watching this I thought to myself, what would I do in a similar situation. At first blush, I could see myself going nuts on these parents. I was so enraged to hear the hurtful words the actors were saying, it became very personal When the more rational me emerged I realized that that kind of behavior wouldn’t have been the best choice and I hoped that I would respond with empathy for both the child and the parent.

When a child comes out, it’s difficult for children and parents alike. Each one has their own journey and it takes time for their paths to meet on the other side of reason. As parents we love our children, what is imperative, is to love and accept who they are.

My question to you is, what would you do? My guess is that if you care enough to read this blog, it’s a no brainer, you would’ve comforted the gay child and told the parent to go to PFLAG!

Hugs, Barbara