Richard Samuel Weiner has been with Max and me for the last 18 years. He is my main squeeze, the love of my life and the glue that keeps our family together. I initially was drawn to Richie for his "solidness" and strength. I knew that he would be able to help Max navigate his formative years and be a role model to propel him into adulthood, falling crazy in love with him was an added bonus!
Max was fourteen years old when Richie arrived. At the time we were in the midst of recovering from my divorce so our sadness was always just below the surface and would often appear without warning but Rich never gave up on us. He has the patience of Job and would constantly run interference between Max and me, doing so without judgment. Whether he was fixing a speeding ticket or taking Max to Sunday breakfast, a ritual begun during the early years, Richie supported Max unconditionally.
Richie taught Max how to drive, attended all his swim meets and tennis matches, and when Max was at Syracuse, he would always work a road trip into his busy schedule. Max and his friends always got a good meal and at the end of the night Max had a few more bucks in his wallet.
After Max came out, Richie told me he had known Max was gay for some time. Of course, Richie being Richie, he patiently waited for Max to chose his time. It has been well documented in previous stories how I fell apart and gradually, slowly pulled myself together. Richie was, once again, the glue that repaired our family, always front and center with love and support for both of us.
I can't imagine what our life would have been, if Richie hadn't been with us during those difficult times, with a smile on his face and love in his heart. Max and I were the big winners when he arrived 18 years ago and Richie's devotion to us, as ours to him, is total and complete.
Now instead of trips to Syracuse we head to NYC. All I have to say is, "I need to see the boys," and Richie goes into action. He books the hotel, takes the shopping list to Costco, gases up the car, and off we go. After every visit, as we exit the city and head for home, my heart overflows knowing how blessed I am to have Richie in my life and I thank him for his kindness and love.
Richie may not be Max's biological father and he has never pretended to be. He has always supported Max's relationship with his dad, but at the end of the day, Richie, has always had Max's back and that's what celebrating Fathers Day is all about.
To my "Main Squeeze", I love you always....Barby
Friday, June 18, 2010
Monday, June 14, 2010
Hip, Hip, Parade...Oh what a day it was.
As in past years, Richie and I met Pam at 7:30am to set up the PFLAG information booth at the Pride Festival located on City Hall Plaza and our long Pride Parade Day began.
This is one of my most favorite days of the year because I get to celebrate, along with at least one million other people, all LGBT men and women. We marched in the parade with our PFLAG family and the overwhelming reception from the people in the crowds was amazing! The love we felt from the sidelines is like manna from heaven that fills our souls and makes our job as parents that much more rewarding.
I experience so many different emotions throughout the day, though each year there always seems to be one special moment that stands out among the rest. It started out business as usual. At 11:00am, Richie and I left City Hall Plaza for our journey to the South End to assemble for the Parade. Every year, without exception, the Government Center "T" Station attendant has to help us figure out how to purchase two one way tickets on the Green Line. This year, nothing had changed. We struggled for a few minutes, causing a back up and then she appeared, our subway angel, and once again showed us the way out of subway hell!
Finally, settled on the train wearing our buttons and carrying our signs I knew we looked a bit conspicuous but that's the fun of Pride. Standing by the doors of the train I noticed a mom with a young boy who gave me a shy smile. Seated in front of them was a women with a young boy who could have been his twin. It took a few seconds, but then I thought, "hello, I know where you folks are going". I made I eye contact with her and we connected, so as they passed by us exiting at the Arlington stop, I said, "watch for us marching in the parade so we can wave to you", the door shut, and Richie just looked at me and smiled.
Sure enough, Rich caught sight of this great little family and we shouted and waved to them as we marched by, sharing a special moment.
At 2:00pm, Richie and I took a break from our post at the info booth and headed for Starbucks at Boylston and Tremont. I don't know why we chose that direction to walk, we just did and once again met up with our little family. Well, of course, we had to stop and do a meet and greet. Our conversation may have lasted only a few minutes but it is now part of the quilt of my special moments from previous Pride Parades.
We are blessed, Richie and I, in so many ways, we're happy, have our health and our Max has given us purpose and opportunities to make a difference. I know we will never find a cure for HIV, Cancer or World Peace, but doing our work with PFLAG and having special moments with the people we have met along the way, hopefully has some small positive impact.
Hugs, Barbara
P.S. Since Richie mentioned that every post so far on my blog is about Max, Robert and PFLAG, I promised him my next one, a Father's Day post, will be all about him!! Please look for it.
This is one of my most favorite days of the year because I get to celebrate, along with at least one million other people, all LGBT men and women. We marched in the parade with our PFLAG family and the overwhelming reception from the people in the crowds was amazing! The love we felt from the sidelines is like manna from heaven that fills our souls and makes our job as parents that much more rewarding.
I experience so many different emotions throughout the day, though each year there always seems to be one special moment that stands out among the rest. It started out business as usual. At 11:00am, Richie and I left City Hall Plaza for our journey to the South End to assemble for the Parade. Every year, without exception, the Government Center "T" Station attendant has to help us figure out how to purchase two one way tickets on the Green Line. This year, nothing had changed. We struggled for a few minutes, causing a back up and then she appeared, our subway angel, and once again showed us the way out of subway hell!
Finally, settled on the train wearing our buttons and carrying our signs I knew we looked a bit conspicuous but that's the fun of Pride. Standing by the doors of the train I noticed a mom with a young boy who gave me a shy smile. Seated in front of them was a women with a young boy who could have been his twin. It took a few seconds, but then I thought, "hello, I know where you folks are going". I made I eye contact with her and we connected, so as they passed by us exiting at the Arlington stop, I said, "watch for us marching in the parade so we can wave to you", the door shut, and Richie just looked at me and smiled.
Sure enough, Rich caught sight of this great little family and we shouted and waved to them as we marched by, sharing a special moment.
At 2:00pm, Richie and I took a break from our post at the info booth and headed for Starbucks at Boylston and Tremont. I don't know why we chose that direction to walk, we just did and once again met up with our little family. Well, of course, we had to stop and do a meet and greet. Our conversation may have lasted only a few minutes but it is now part of the quilt of my special moments from previous Pride Parades.
We are blessed, Richie and I, in so many ways, we're happy, have our health and our Max has given us purpose and opportunities to make a difference. I know we will never find a cure for HIV, Cancer or World Peace, but doing our work with PFLAG and having special moments with the people we have met along the way, hopefully has some small positive impact.
Hugs, Barbara
P.S. Since Richie mentioned that every post so far on my blog is about Max, Robert and PFLAG, I promised him my next one, a Father's Day post, will be all about him!! Please look for it.
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